From the left corner of my brain

45 years ago today, this was said:

Whether you like the guy or not, tonight our country took one step closer to Dr. King’s dream.

Yesterday was an interesting day. It was a day filled with ethical complications and I was left feeling a little bewildered. I had not one, but two major ethical situations at work to deal with. There was no clear right or wrong in either situation.

There are many no brainer kind of ethics that are simple – don’t sleep with your clients, don’t misrepresent yourself, don’t barter for your fees, don’t be friends with your clients outside of therapy etc.  Those are the easy ones.

Then there are those that are not so clear – the kind where when you consult with others to gain clarity, 50% say one thing and 50% say the exact opposite.  It did not matter which way I choose in each situation, both options felt bad and you are left in the middle. alone. clueless.

Yesterday raised several questions in my mind. As humans, we operate within a safety zone. On occasions, we come across new experiences that extend out comfort zone. No one stats using meth out of the blue, they probably start out by smoking a little weed, then a few pills, and the progression continues. On the opposite end of that spectrum, no one drops everything in their life and moves to India to serve the poor. They would have likely lived to serve others daily in small ways before they committed their entire life.

I hope that in my life, I am continually aware of what my comfort zone is, and I hope I actively choose what to expose myself to.  I’m not saying that I want to shelter myself away. What I am saying is there is wisdom in understand that it is not about how close you can get to the wall without hitting it. It is about understand what steps lead you towards the wall and choosing to take other steps when possible.

Remember how I mentioned that we got a new bed? Jeremy can tell you all about it here. I love it. It’s glorious. And big. There is just one small problem.

It’s really hard to get out of in the mornings.

In fact, Monday morning, I was laying in bed (as it was raining outside) counting down the days until Friday since I have the day off and can sleep in.  I even tried to figure out which days this week I could call in sick so I could stay home.

To bad Pastor talked about slothfulness on Sunday.

There have been so many things going on, it is going to be easier to ramble a little to catch you up rather than trying to be clever in several different blogs.

• The past few days have really been an eye opener to adjust my perspective in life. I have been humbled by God’s favor and grace which is so evident in my life. I am praying I never let my newest understanding of grace become clouded by the mundane daily events. I know I am not making myself very clear. I am not trying to be cryptic. The truth is the details of how I have come to realize this are insignificant to the theme I am learning.

• The elections are growing ever closer. Although if I were to be perfectly honest, I am nearly indifferent about both candidates. I just happened to like one slightly more than the other. Lately, I am not impressed by either of them. One candidate is becoming more wishy-washy and the other is acting like he is in high school even though he is 80 freaking years old.  Please do not take this as an invitation to tell me all the wonderful things about your favorite candidate (or all of the evils of the other). Both have some things right and some things wrong, neither have it correct.

• I used to have a pen-pal from India when I was 13 and living in Singapore. Our dad’s worked together and we wrote to each other often but never met. I met her tonight completely by accident, God’s ….whatever you call it. We did not recognize each other at all. We connected the dots as we got to know each other and were both dumbfounded it the serendipity of it all. Of all the places in the world for pen pals from India and Singapore to met, we met at an itsy bitsy Christian college in Oklahoma City.

• We got a new bed this weekend. It’s wonderful. When we got married, we had a water bed ( I know, so 80’s). It finally sprung several leaks this past spring, so we have been using our guest bed. A full sized bed. It’s been…ugh…close.  The old bed may have been corny, but it was a king sized bed and you couldn’t hate on it. Our new bed is big and comfortable and soft and big. I love it. Plus, we paid for it with cash, which was a great bargaining tool. We negotiated and paid 2/3’s of the original price. Did I mention it was big?

• Michael Phelps is a rock star. I cheered him on in his final race. I’ve never really cheered for America in the Olympics before. I’ve lived a lot of different places, there are usually several countries I want to see do well. Not this time. I’m really glad he won.

Okay, I think that is just about everything I wanted to share. I’m hungry but it is way too late to eat. Tomorrow is Monday and I really am not ready for another work week. I love my job, but it is still a job. I have had so many things going on internally for the past few weeks, I feel like I need two weeks to process it all. That is what us introverts call fun – internally processing information.

Snail can sleep up to 3 years

Babies are born without kneecaps 

Walt Disney was afraid of mice 

Crocodiles can’t stick out their tongue 

Pigs can’t look up high enough to see the sky 

All polar bears are left-handed

And now you know. 

Do you remember when I wrote this blog a few days ago?

Driving home today, I see a house that never ever has cars in front of it, open curtains or any sign of life. What do I see? I small hand knocking on the glass from the inside of the window. Freaky!!

What would you do?

Our church is in the middle of a series:

We are talking about the 7 deadly sins, you know -pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, sloth and anger. Today Pastor Steve covered lust and envy.

After church Jeremy and I decided to go out to lunch. We were sitting at our table and discussing the sermon from this morning. Lust can destroy so many relationships. We were talking about ways to prevent ourselves from being in situations that might allow for lust to give way. We got up to leave and as I walked past the table right next to ours, and older man was sitting there with his wife. He looked me straight in the eye and gave me a smile. His eyes said a million things – you sad young girl, you are so naive about life. So optimistic that you are invincible from the realities of life. Just wait, time will teach you life’s lessons. 

I walked away feeling frustrated. His look made two things clear:

1) Our world is so cynical, an old man has lost his faith that people can honor their marriage commitments throughout their entire lifetime.

2) There is a severe lack of mentorship available for young couples. In one way, the old man was right. We are young, and optimistic that our marriage determined to make our marriage work. Is there no one who can point us in the right direction? People that can help us figure out how to make it through the rough times? Fortunately, at our church there are people available to us if we will ask. This is not the norm, and it makes me sad.

We have been married for 5 years. We have had times where we loved each other, and other times we could not stand each other. What? I’m not going to lie about it.  I hope that as we help with the college ministry at our church, we can mentor young couples as they start their journey. Not with the usual advice that everyone gives, but with an honest and sincere knowledge of what it feels like when your relationship is not working the way it should. 

It’s been an interesting and thought provoking series, and you can listen to it here.

If you have a few moments, read this story. It is a story you will never forget. If you want to follow up with pictures and audio clips, you can click here.

Sometimes people ask me, “What kind of therapy can you really do with a two year old?” You can be a model of a healthy and caring adult. You can teach kids to use and understand words like hurt, sad, and mad. You can help them grieve. Because no matter how horrible your mama is, she is still your mama and there is no one like her. And sometimes a kid has to grieve the fact that mama did not care for them like mama’s are supposed to.

Also, you can’t give what you never got. Imagine what kind of childhood this mother had. Imagine if she had therapy at a young age to help her re-define healthy relationships, what childhood is supposed to look like, and what ‘normal’ really was. It might just have saved this little girl from her horrible first 7 years of life.

These recalls are getting a little ridiculous. And they usually come out the day after I have done my grocery shopping. Last week alvacodos, this week chicken. Get it together people.

Alright, I’m done now.

Thanks