Oh, this is a good story 🙂
Since we started the adoption process, I have blog stalked
a few several adoptive families. I LOVED reading their stories of getting THE CALL. You know, the one where your adoption worker calls you and just like that : TADAA! You are parents! Usually, I would end up all teary from reading them and very much looking forward to telling our own story one day. Then my husband would walk in the room and see me all teary in front of my computer screen, sigh, then sit down carefully and pray I wasn’t crying because of something he did, but because of “one of those sappy adoption stories.”
While I read all of these random people’s blogs, I noticed most stories had a few things in common.
1) Even though they carried their phones everywhere (including to the bathroom) the call always came when they least expected it.
2) They could never reach their significant other to let them know THE CALL had come.
I knew that our story would not be like the others because
1) I carried my phone with me everywhere and knew I would be ready when THE CALL came.
2) My husband always has his phone with him. Faithfully. Religiously. Without fail.
Back in the first few months of this year, I really started having some doubts about adoption. I started to panic about the unknowns. What if the birth mom had used drugs? What if bad genetics were an issue? What if we couldn’t bond and attach? The list went on. I can be an excellent worrier if I do not monitor myself. I was not monitoring myself. I was silently panicking and full of anxiety and doubt regarding our adoption. Despite all of my anxiety, I still knew adoption was right for us. I still wanted to grow our family this way.
This paragraph will bore some, just hang in there with me. I’ll give the cliff notes version here: In the early part of May, I attended a wonderful training on childhood trauma for my job. The presenter showed incredible results from research that rat pups with bad genetics and uncaring mothers could rebound with a great deal of success when placed with a caring caregiver early enough in life. In fact, positive caregiving could actually change their genetic structure to support a successful life! I don’t often hear God talk to me, and I didn’t really ‘hear’ Him this time either. But I got the message loud and clear and knew that I knew that I knew that He was telling me “It will all be okay. This is what I have planned for you. It is a good thing. It is all going to work out.”
God gave me peace from listening to research about rat pups. Mysterious ways and all that.
Well, 5 days later, we got THE CALL. It was a baby boy. 5 days old. Born on the day I was learning about rat pups. The worker told us the family’s history and why baby boy could not be with his mom anymore. She told us the tribe would be going to pick up the baby that afternoon and would bring him straight to our house. I left work early to rush home and get things ready. We waited all afternoon with no word from our worker. I finally called her and she let me know the baby’s mom had gotten word the tribe would be removing the baby and she took off. They couldn’t find her. No baby would be arriving in our home that day. Our worker told us to get ready and she would call as soon as they found them or the next baby became available for adoption.
We waited. And prayed for our baby boy. For 2 months.
I had told all my clients that we were expecting a call any day. I had been taking my phone into all of my sessions and meetings. I took it everywhere with me. On the very last day of June, I was busy at work with the usual chaos that goes on there day to day. At the very end of the day, my phone started buzzing on my desk, so I absent-mindedly picked it up to turn the ringer off so I could keep talking to the person in front of me. I glanced down to turn off the ring and recognized the area code as the tribe calling. Guess what? I TOTALLY WASN’T EXPECTING THE CALL THAT DAY. Our worker told us they had a baby girl for us. I was so shocked! We never in a million years expected a girl. She said, “I think my supervisor called you about this baby before.” I told her we had only ever heard of a baby boy, to which she replied, “Oh, it is the same baby. We had the initial information wrong.” The baby we had prayed for over the past 2 months was here! She informed me the tribe needed to place the baby immediately and would be leaving the office with the baby in 30 minutes. I hung up and called the husband. GUESS WHO DIDN’T ANSWER THIER PHONE?!?? I went back into the office and told my supervisor, burst into tears, gathered my things and left the office.
I tried calling my husband again. Voicemail. Called again. Voicemail. Called again. Voicemail. This went on for a period of 20 minutes while I am
speeding driving down I-40 to get home. He finally picked up and I blurted out, “The tribe called, it’s a girl! They need to place her right away, so I said yes. Is that okay with you?” His reply: “Wait, what? Huh?” He was shocked! Once I got home, I rushed through the dishes, vacuumed the floor and did anything I could to expel nervous energy while we waited. We called our families to let them know. They were thrilled. My parents let me know they would be parked around the corner and waiting for the worker to leave so they could come and meet the baby.
The worker finally arrived. She took a car seat out of her car. I peaked around to see and saw a dark baby girl with big dark shining eyes and a head full of hair. She was 57 days old. The worker unloaded several bags and told us the baby had nothing, so she went to Walmart and the tribe bought her clothes, formula, diapers….. there were SIX duffle bags fill of things for the baby. After a few minutes, she handed over the baby and I held her in my arms. She looked up at me and reached up to touch my cheek. I. FELL. IN. LOVE.
Once the worker had left, I had Miss M over my shoulder. Her Daddy leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. She turned towards him and gave him a baby kiss back. And just like that, Miss M had her dad wrapped around her ittybitty finger. The grandparents came over and cooed all over her and couldn’t love her enough.
When we started this adoption process, we tossed around a few names for the baby. We though Elizabeth Tafv (pronounced Tavah) was a pretty name for a girl. When Miss M arrived, her name fit her so perfectly; we knew we had to keep it. We didn’t think to ask about her middle name when she arrived. A few days later, I was looking at some medical records for her and noticed her middle name: Elizabeth.
Back to present day:
Miss M is doing great! I took time off work so we could bond and connect. We have done so marvelously. I go back to work tomorrow. Miss M started daycare today and loved her teachers. I know she gets bored of me by the end of the day, so I think she will love being with other babies all day. She loves her daddy and can’t wait for him to get home. When he walks in the door, she wants him to hold her for the rest of the evening. While I am sad maternity leave is coming to an end, I am looking forward to getting back to work.
It will be several months before the adoption is finalized. Until then, we can’t post any pictures. We will as soon as we can, but I promise – she is beautiful!!
Remember this post? I can confidently say, God really did knit our hearts together. I know I was meant to be her momma, and she was meant to be part of our family. When I think about the entire adoption journey we have been on, the thing that makes me most excited is to see how God has worked behind the scenes to bring us together.
Knit one, perl two, baby.
“And God began making the necessary arrangements in response to what Hannah had asked.” −1 Samuel 1:19